La loi vos droits

Parents

The Right of Grandchildren to Have a Relationship with Their Grandparents

Parents can sometimes have strained relationships with their adult children. The situation may even deteriorate to the point that all contact is suddenly cut off and the parents forbidden from seeing their grandchildren.

Imagine that your relationship with your son and daughter-in-law has been strained for many years. You try to patch things up with them because you love spending time with your grandchildren. They mean everything to you! Unfortunately, the last argument resulted in hard feelings, and for the past couple of months, your son and daughter-in-law have refused to let you see your grandchildren. What can you do?

In this Infosheet, Éducaloi explains the right of your grandchildren to begin or to maintain a relationship with you and how to enforce that right.

Do my grandchildren have the right to have a relationship with me even if I am not on good terms with their parents?

Yes. The law specifically states that parents cannot hinder a child’s relationship with his grandparents without a serious reason.

If parents are making it difficult or impossible for you to see your grandchildren, you can present a request (motion) to the Superior Court of Québec to get access rights. For more information about this court, consult Superior Court – Family Matters  (http://www.educaloi.qc.ca/en/cotecour/superior_court/family_matters/) in Côtécour.

Don’t worry! Even if you are granted access rights, you will not be obliged to make support payments for your grandchildren.

For what reasons can the judge deny me access rights to my grandchildren?

The judge can deny your request for access rights if the parents show they are refusing to let you see your grandchildren for serious reasons.

Remember that a heated argument between you and the parents is not considered a serious reason.

However, any situation that might jeopardize the child’s best interests will be considered a serious reason. Here are a few examples:

• your relationship with the parents is so strained that it has degenerated into a long and ugly legal battle
  
• you have a harmful influence on your grandchildren
  
• you are attempting to replace the parents and constantly encroach on their right to make decisions about their children (that is to say you are undermining the parental authority of the parents)
  
• you are physically or verbally abusive with your grandchildren
  
• your grandchildren categorically refuse to see you

In my request for access rights, how often should I ask to see my grandchildren?

In your request for access rights, you can ask the judge to let you see your grandchildren as often as you did before the conflict arose.

Remember that you are not a parent: you will normally not get the same amount of access rights as a non-custodial parent (a parent that does not have sole custody of the children).

The judge will always consider your grandchildren’s interests above all, not yours or those of the parents. He will also consider the goal of these access rights, which is to allow children to know their ancestors and develop emotional ties with you.

As a result, the judge can decide to limit your contact with your grandchildren to telephone calls, letters and family reunions if he finds that this is in their best interests. He can even bar all contact between you and your grandchildren.

What will happen during the hearing before the Superior Court if I apply for access to my grandchildren?

The hearing takes place "in camera", meaning that members of the public will not be allowed into the room. Only the parents, lawyers, judge and certain officers of the court (court usher, court clerk) are allowed to attend or to participate in the hearing.

Generally, the hearing will take place as follows:

Your Proof

1. You will present your proof first. Your lawyer will ask you questions so that you can explain to the judge why you are being prevented from seeing your grandchildren, express your desire to see them and submit your specific requests (for example, to see your grandchildren one Sunday a month).
   
   
2. You may then be cross-examined (questioned) by the lawyer of the parents (the opposing party).
   
   
3. Next, the judge will hear your witnesses (ordinary or expert), if you have any. They may be cross-examined by the opposing lawyer.
   
   
   The Opposing Party’s Proof
   
   
4. It will then be time for the parents (the opposing party) to present their proof. They will first be questioned by their lawyer, and then cross-examined by your lawyer.
   
   
5. If the parents have other witnesses, they will be questioned and then cross-examined as well.
   
   The Judge’s Decision (Judgment)
   
   Once the judge has heard all of the witnesses and arguments, he will make his decision (the "judgment"), which must be respected by both sides. It is important to understand that the judge doesn’t have to make a decision right away. He might decide to think about it and give his judgment at a later date.

For more information about the judicial process at the Superior Court, consult Superior Court – Family Matters   (http://www.educaloi.qc.ca/en/cotecour/superior_court/family_matters/)in Côtécour.

I disagree with the education the parents are giving to my grandchildren. What can I do?

Grandparents don’t always agree with the way parents educate their children. However, they have to respect the parents’ choice in this matter, unless the education is somehow harming the security or development of the children. If that is the case, there are ways to get qualified professionals involved. See the question "What can I do if I discover my grandchildren are being mistreated by their parents?".

Can I seek custody of my grandchildren?

Both parents may be temporarily or permanently unable to care for their children. This situation can arise from drug or alcohol use, mental health problems, etc.

In these situations, custody of the children may be granted to someone other than the parents. Grandparents can ask for the custody of their grandchildren.

However, unless the judge says otherwise, the parents will still be entitled to supervise their children’s upbringing and education and will still be obliged to contribute financially to meet their needs.

Could I be responsible for making support payments to my grandchildren?

No. This obligation disappeared from the law in 1996.

At most, grandparents have a moral duty (not a legal one) to contribute to the material well-being of their grandchildren.

What happens if my grandchildren are adopted by a new spouse?

Imagine the following situation: your son dies and your daughter-in-law remarries. Her new husband wants to adopt your grandchildren.

If this happens, the biological paternal lineage of your grandchildren will be replaced by the adoptive paternal lineage. In other words, the ties that connect you to your grandchildren will be broken by the adoption, and the new husband’s parents will replace you as the children’s grandparents under the law.

In these circumstances, you have two options:

1. You may try to intervene in the file and explain why you are opposing the adoption.
   
   However, the fact that you are the grandfather or grandmother does not automatically give you the right to intervene. The judge will have to decide whether or not to allow your intervention.
   
   
2. You could allow the adoption to go forward without intervening. In that case, you could come to an agreement with the surviving parent to let you maintain your special relationship with your grandchildren.
   
   Be careful! If a disagreement arises following the adoption of your grandchildren, you will be considered as a “third party” under the law. That means that if you make a request for access rights before a judge, it will be considered as though it came from a person with no family ties to the child!

What can I do if I discover that my grandchildren are being mistreated by their parents?

Unfortunately, certain parents sometimes lose their self-control, are unable to care for their children (because of alcohol or drug abuse, for example), or physically or psychologically abuse their children.

If you believe that the safety or development of your grandchildren is at risk, you may or must (as the case may be) report the situation to the Director of Youth Protection (DYP).

By law, you must immediately report the following situations of abuse to the DYP:

• you have reason to believe that the child is being physically abused
  
• you have reason to believe that the child is being sexually abused

In all other cases, you do not have a legal duty to report the situation to the DYP. For example, if the parents:

• fail to provide for the child’s care, maintenance or education
  
• fail to meet the child’s basic needs in terms of food, clothing and lodging given the means at their disposal
  
• ignore the serious behavioural problems of their child

If you decide to contact the DYP, an agent will evaluate the urgency of the situation and will inform you about what can be done to ensure the well-being of your grandchildren.

It is important to know that the identity of the person reporting a situation to the DYP remains confidential. That means that unless you agree, nobody will tell the parents you are the one who brought the situation to the DYP’s attention.